Easter

I have been down. Often wondering where my next step should take me. I am alone in a big city I no longer love - or understand. I still have a long way to go. Sometimes it feels like I'm back at the beginning. Or maybe that's the way it always is... I'm okay. I've been better. Everyday is a chance to get things right. I do my best, and then move on... try to find my inner grace and live up to my vision. I'll make a list - a kind of treasure map...only my map is alive and constantly changing. My crew - a fuzzy-faced dog and 3 steadfast cats. I plot my course carefully, as everything depends on my steady ability to pilot this paper boat to safe landing. So, I'm stubborn. Something I have to live with. It keeps me strong, but it makes vunerable. I hold onto things past their expiry date. A lesson from my wise 8-year old nephew who counselled me to let go of a rabbit foot he had given me. When it fell apart, I wanted to fix it. He said the luck was gone from it and that I should just let it go. When will I learn? I turn to the things that make me ME. I play my guitar. I search for the words that will make things alright. None come. I make jewellery from bottle caps and found items. I look for beauty in everyday things. ...and one day I will venture out of my shell.