And so it goes...

Cody’s friend, young Avery, got 15 months….


Even from far away I felt the punch of that sentence and felt the cold shock and pain of the young man being led away …

Assault and Robbery: the charges resulted from an altercation with a previous employer…a “take this job and shove it” encounter that ended with young Avery being charged.

A man’s gotta’ do what a man’s gotta’ do - what’s due is due. That’s life. Make your choices and live with the consequences.

Another crossroad, we are never alone, even though it may seem like we are. I am on Avery’s road too – albeit from afar - we are all connected.

I am a songwriter. That’s the only reason, I am able to discern, for my purpose on this planet. So far, I’ve kinda’ not done everything I should have, but maybe that’s not true…

A pernicious wind, of bad intent, has been blowing in my direction. It’s hurtful, cold and mean, whipping the trees and ground where I walk. And so, I choose a careful path, follow the ley of the land, and find shelter where the wind can’t touch me. I know the way. Sacred places are all around us, use your eyes and you’ll find them.

We humans have been busy and our influence is immense. What I’m trying to say is, we are more powerful that we know.

Ever felt an instant like or dislike? This happens more quickly that we are able to reason it out…I’m pretty sure it’s “what we are - is what we are” - like, I will never come back as an ape. Like it or not, I am what I am…

I’ve been feeling lately that what I am, is coming to an end. I am a white woman, a forever girl, a Wiccan lady. There is no maliciousness in that. It’s just what I am - with some spice sprinkled in here and there – a bit of the First Nation. I am proud, and pretty sure that I can never change the essence of my being.
When wind passes, I will go back to walking my dog…my nightly adventure. And then, turn off the lights, turn down my bed, and snuggle into the covers, my furry companions impatiently awaiting my arrival…and dream…

My dreams have been better lately, no more the terrible nightmares that plagued me during the years when my father was alive. Now, in my dreams, my mother is a kind woman who looks after my sister and makes a place for me. With his passing, it seems, a peace was made. I am able to move on to a better place secure in the knowledge that they are happy and safe. There is nothing here for me to fix.

When my dreams take me to my ex spouse, I am informed that he is happy in his new life and is content with his choices.

There is nothing dark on my horizon, and soon the alarm sounds the advent of a new day. All is well.

There is only the passage of time. The daily routine of maintaining my place in the queue of life, that’s my part in the song of the city.

Or so it would seem if I were just me, but I am not. I am generations of people, paths, and places. I am the ebb and flow, the unobserved potential waiting to pop into existence.

And so it goes that once there was a girl, whose name was Laura, named after a song of that title…”a face in the misty moonlight…" A tale that was told to me by a magician who was familiar with the songwriter. A tragic tale of heartbreak and new beginnings - he said.

As I tell you this story, it becomes a story within a story, about a song, about a girl... that’s how I came to be.

That’s what I am. Now you tell me, how could I possibly be otherwise?

…young Avery was sentenced to 15 months -the consequence of being a man.

Sometimes that’s how it goes.

Forever Girl

Today I just feel like playing the guitar.  You know that feeling when you really just want to get inside something?  My fingers are aching to feel the pressure on the strings - to let whatever that thing is possess me and take me to the place I need to be.  I guess that's really it.  I need to feel confident that I can go to that place - and it's really where I belong. 

Give up on trying to "fit in" and make my world fit me, that would suit me fine!  I've been down this road - and from here, I see how the story ends...unfortunately, it ends badly. I hate bad endings.

I've been looking longingly at apts on horse farms - when my job is up... 

I like my job, but it's really just a source of income.  Like renting out my rooms...my OTHER job.  Laura - back to two jobs again and looking for more.  Yep, that's my consistent M.O...  Not complaining, it's okay, could use some fairy dust please!  But I guess it's up to me to make my own fairy dust!  That's okay too - I have the receipe down pat!  You need to be careful with fairy dust! 

In life, it seems, we are constantly trading one set of  problems for another - sigh.

It's nice to be in the place I'm at, but it's not forever.  Right now, my experience tells me that nothing is FOREVER.  I don't really believe that.  For better or worse...

I'm a FOREVER girl - it's what I am.